AfflictionAteHer

The stopping medication thing is falling apart, bit by bit. First off I got the flu (or whatever it was) that didn’t respond to anything other than Hydromet. Insomnia set in… and then my asthma took a turn for the worse. So, more albuterol than normal plus the occasional, desperate puff of Symbicort. Then the diagnosis of severe gerd causing inflammation in my larynx so I was back on Protonix, full-strength (40mg 2xdaily) for a few days.

And now I’m back on 100mg a night of Seroquel.

For now.

I do have an appointment to meet a General Practitioner, this Saturday. I’m nervous about it. I’m trying to figure out exactly what to tell him I need help with, so I’ll be practicing here over the next few days.

Today’s take: The Triangle.

“It’s like this, doc: I have asthma, GERD, and Bipolar Disorder NOS. All 3 have had a major impact on my life, and all 3 are – individually, at least – well controlled by medication; but the medication I take for one has a negative impact on another, and this goes on and on in a vicious circle. I keep finding myself at a place where I’m taking huge prescribed doses of these strong medications and things are going downhill with all 3 diseases and then – wham – one doctor will want to add even more drugs to try to fix things. The last time that happened was last December, and I decided to try to get off everything to get a better fix on what was what where the illnesses are concerned, and here I am. I need help managing all of this and I have a feeling it’s going to require some time – more than 15 minutes every six months, for instance. The symptoms of the illnesses are getting much worse (I think – though I’m not sure), and the side effects have become well-neigh intolerable and, I think, dangerous. Help!

And then I can whip out my spreadsheet of afflictions.

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I’ll make this quick, since my shift ends in 10 minutes and I don’t have my own computer at home, anymore.

That’s right. I sold my computer for $950 to help cover some of the money we lost by my being out sick without sick leave for 8 days.

In bullet form, here’s where I am tonight:

• My manager made an exception and didn’t put me on final warning
• But I didn’t get the job I interviewed for because I was on second warning
• We cleaned the house and even got all the debris carted off by Bagster (yay!!!)
• My insomnia has been intractable and I’ve taken something to help me sleep about 2 out of every 3 nights
• On Monday I had a stomach ache. On Tuesday it turned in to intestinal distress, all-over joint pain, and a high fever. A blood test and urine sample at the ER (who can afford to take time off work for a dr’s appointment when they’re on attendance warning??) revealed nothing.
• I am now somewhat fixated on two possibilities: that I have cancer, or that I am pregnant. They are equally likely (which is to say, not very), but the fixation is driven by sleep deprivation and the side effects of whatever drug I took last night to try to sleep (Hydrocodone in this case – I didn’t sleep well but I certainly had interesting dreams; Benedryl two nights before that, and Trazedone and Benedryl the night before that).

Oh, and by the way, the rib pain I may have mentioned that incapacitated me last year around this time? It’s been hanging around again, like a suspicious-looking ex-convict.

This time, I keep promising myself… this time I will not rest until I find out what’s causing this. No more just covering up the symptoms, which I can push through if I try. I want to know what’s causing this stuff to happen.

Physical scheduled with a new (and potential primary care) physician for March 27.

Oh how I miss my computer lust after a new computer.

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