Our Sneezes Were Quite Satisfying

I heard someone sneeze at work, yesterday; a sneeze that sounded a bit like my brother’s sneeze.

My brother’s nose figured prominently in our childhood. He had a way of smashing it flat with the palm of his hand and then moving his palm around in a wet, vigorous circle while he pressed down on it, cartilage crunching away. He would do this, and I would say, “Oh! Ug! Stop!!!” when he did, probably because I, personally, found it too painful to mimic. Our noses were always itching inside because of our allergies, and this motion was his unique way of dealing with his itch. I probably just stuck my finger up my offending nostril. We were very itchy kids.

Grief is such a strange and wondrous thing, if what you feel when you miss someone who is dead is grief. I heard this sneeze, it sounded familiar, and the bottomless longing engulfed me. I became paralyzed, like I always do. Immobile, fingers hovering over my keyboard, thankful I wasn’t talking to a customer, terrified my phone would ring, a deer in the fluorescent headlights of work. What am I saying? I wasn’t terrified the phone would ring, though I was briefly glad I wasn’t talking to someone. “You’re almost right here,” is what I thought, what I always think. “You’re just out of reach.” “You’re missing.” “Why can’t I just call you?” “Why did you die? Why you? Why me? Where are you? Is this, could this, can’t this be a dream?” My eyes misted over. I gulped. My lower lip quivered. I gulped again. Got up from my chair and pretended I needed to go to the bathroom for a few minutes so I could collect myself and stop missing him.

My break came up about an hour later, and I stood outside near the curb and smoked. I was thinking some profound thought about death, something to do with how I wished I could walk upstairs and say, “I have to go home and cry, my brother just died, this is going to take some time to get over.” I thought about how I couldn’t do that when he died, and about how I had known at the time it would be like this, these episodes, overtaking me, for years to come, and how resigned I’d felt to that. How secret you have to be about it when it hits, even though you’re talking about it being your only brother who died. Any person in their right mind would say, “Whoa, it’s been nearly seven years. You should’ve gotten over this by now. You’re mentally ill, eh?”

A girl I’ve seen around but don’t know walked outside for her own break and came up to me. “Are you ok?” “Oh sure, how’s your day going?” Instant mask. I am sunny and cheerful. You must have misunderstood me. Flash back to the plane ride to Dallas the morning you died, the steward walking up the aisle, kneeling next to my seat, placing his hand around my own, asking (quietly), “Did someone just die?” Me nodding because I couldn’t speak (because I would’ve starting crying). Him nodding back. “A close family member?” Me, hesitating, wanting to say (loudly) “My only fucking brother, oh fuck, oh my God, just hold me, please, just put me somewhere nobody will see or hear me, for God’s sake. Sob, oh Sob, oh Wail Wail Wail.” And just nodding. Pleased that someone had noticed.

The girl from work started talking about a call she’d taken earlier in the day, and I waited for some way to interject in to the conversation, “I was just thinking about my brother. Someone just sneezed like him. I am overcome with longing. Do you think it would be wrong to go home and cry? Do you think they’d give me an incident for it? If I get another incident they’ll have to put me on verbal warning.” And then she would hug me in a silent, comforting motion. And I would take a deep breath. And the missingness would pass more quickly. Instead, the skinny girl with the platinum hair and the very hip haircut walked up and they compared horror stories about the first girl’s weekend salon visit. And I pretended to be part of the crowd, but I wasn’t really. So I just finished my break.

I figured the kind of opportunity to tell someone about it, to tell someone my brother is dead, and to tell them about the sneeze, would probably come up. And it did, this evening, like a small, red-headed blessing. The guy who sits next to me told me his parents are both dead, of cancer, and told me about their last days. And then he asked me if I have any siblings (because he and his sister are the only ones left), and I said yes. I told him about the sneeze, and I said, “Because I have a very wonderful view of the afterlife, I feel that he’s with me all the time, except for when I really need him to be.” And he nodded, not too solemly, and said, “Sometimes it’s just so weird that my parents aren’t here. That it’s just me.” And then I told him how John Larry died. We are all so young to have lost so much. And neither of us became morose. We went from that to his last visit to Japan, to teaching school for Army kids, to “Engrish” translations he’d taken pictures of. Sweet relief.

I don’t know if he ever thinks to himself that these secret moments of engulfing, drenching, confounding missing are sweet. Are the most intimate reminder of the role you no longer play in this world, and the role that was just for you that someone else used to play.

My brother and I were itchy kids, and we sneezed all the time. Even though I have a painful lump in my throat just from writing this, the memory of feeling so close I could almost touch him is like that itch. Like that sneeze. So odd. So persistent. Our sneezes were quite satisfying, when we were kids. I miss him very satisfactorily, I think. Or maybe I just miss him.

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A tribute to dial-up AOL Instant Messenger, my Mom – and to the year 2000: The year I shaved my head, finally lost my mind, and got my dream job (all at the same time).



MOMgood grief!~ I couldn't get on!WACO Hi, Mom!
MOMhowdy! :)WACOI am bald!
MOMI have a big bandaid on my left stickit toem finger so watch out. Why are you bald?!!WACO
MOMYou did it again?WACODid what?????
MOMCut your hair short?
MOMVery short?WACO Hold on, let me splain...
MOMk
MOMso
MOM?WACOI cleaned house all day Sunday & was VERY tired by 8:30. So I decided to go to bed early ...
MOMyes...WACOI took 2 Ambien and waited for them to take affect...
MOM yes, and they didn't, right? you got bored & cut your hair?WACO Two hours later, I was wide awake and beginning to panic... too tired to finish my work that was due the next day and yet unable to sleep...
WACOSo I made myself a margarita...
MOMArg
MOMagin
MOMarghhhhWACOI woke up the next morning bald
MOM?WACO No, it's better. I mean bald, literally. Bald. BALD.
MOMWhat happened?WACOI have a hazy memory of happily chopping off all of my hair. I think it had something to do with cleaning house. Cleaning up my head. Something like that.
WACOI joyfully shaved my head and then went to bed.
MOMMy gosh! Have you called a doctor? Did you get a wig...
MOMDammitWACO I woke up at 4:30 the next morning. I knew it wasn't a dream when I had to peel my head, which was neatly velcro'd to the pillow, off the bed.
WACOI saw the doctor today.
MOMAnd whay was determined?WACO Of course, the first thing I did was to throw away all of the Ambien and liquor.
MOMGood. Then?WACOThe doctor told me that it's one thing to have a drink before you take the Ambien... quiet another to take a drink afterwards...
MOMSo what's next?WACO She told me I'm fine. I'm not depressed - wasn't depressed at the time. Doesn't have anything to do with depression. As I mentioned, it was a happy, fun, joyful experience until I woke up.
MOMNot at all manic or in any kind of altered reality or anything? HA!WACO I showered, put on my makeup, wrapped a red bandana around my head, stuck a cute straw hat on top of that and went to bed
WACO Ooops - make that, went to work...
MOMMy gosh. Do you still have a job?WACO Sure I still have a job. Everybody got a good laugh out of it, not the least of whom was me (actually, I didn't laugh until today).
MOM Well, get it fixed, darn it. Well, maybe I'll laugh tomorrow. That scares the pewaddle out of me. WACO First of all, the wig market seems to cater to the black population.
WACOBlack people at wig stores are very nice.
MOMDid you find anything decent?WACO Well, I found one that looks just like my natural hair when it's short.
WACO Unfotunately, it is not made out of real hair.
MOMDid you get it?WACO Yes, I got it.
WACOBut people stare a whole lot more when I'm wearing it than when I'm just wearing a bandana.
MOM Well, maybe you won't shave it off...it won't grow back, you know. :)WACOHahahaha.
MOM Well, check with some beauty shops. I now they still make real wigs for real people. Check with some cancer figgit places.WACO I wore it to work and Jennifer, my co-worker, said right off, "I think you should go someplace that has a better selection."
MOMYup.WACO Also, I didn't realize that my left ear was half-way tucked under the wig.
WACOThat might be one reason people stared when I wore it.
WACO Lots of funny, funny stories out of this little incident, let me tell you.
MOMDo you recall anything besides joy when dyou were doing the deed? LIke...WHY?WACO Anything besides joy? No. I was bored. I thought there was a little white dog with brown and black spots sitting next to me (kind of like a kid playing make-believe), and I was talking to it the whole time.
MOM Please, please PLEASE wear eye makeup. :)WACOLots and lots of eye makeup!!!!!!!!!
MOMI think JL and Amy are planning on living together.
MOMShe's looking for work down here.
MOMShe is bipolar and takes neurontin and welbutrin. sigh.
MOM She has a great personality, though, and is a lot of fun.
MOMAdn she has hair.WACOHairly a good reason for living with someone.
MOMI'm thinking.
MOMShe was hair Sunday but gone Monday. Won't be hair again for a couple of weeks.WACO I think I'm probably safe now. After all, if I had a wild hair, it's certainly gone now!
MOM Cep fer the hair on yer chinny, chin, chin!WACOI threw it all away.
WACOLike throwing a dead body in to the dumpster to hide the evidence.
MOMI wonder how long it will take to grow back.WACOI don't know. But at least it solves the question of what to do about my hair color!
WACO I think I'll probably end up enjoying the experience, over all.
WACO Not something I would EVER repeat, though.
WACOA shaved head is an ugly head.
WACO And my head is not round. It's pointy in the back and I have a big face. Cute ears, though. Kind of makes me look like an alien. A nice, cute, friendly alient
WACOI have an interview with 6 six people at Tivoli Friday afternoon. I just found out today.
WACOIt's a sitcom type of a situation.
MOMSitcom as in they applaud when you say the right thing? Over the phone?WACO Sitcom as in I finally get an interview with Tivoli, but only after I've shaved my head!
WACOIn person interview.
WACONo applause.
MOM Waco, get a weal wig. A good one.WACOI can't afford a weal wig. Wouldn't know where to get one. And I can't tell you the kind of stares I got when I was wearing this one. People KNOW.
MOMThey don't know if you're wearing the right kind. Weally.WACOThe one I got was $89!!!!!!!
MOMYou'll look weird without a weal wig Waco. I'll call around here and see what I can find out.WACOI refuse to invest hundreds of dollars in this mistake. Especially since it's grow out so soon.
WACO Keep in mind, Mom, that Austin is full of wierd people, and many of them work for Tivoli.
MOM:{WACO But I don't have a left curly bracket. As a matter of fact, I don't have anything curly at all!
MOMWhat would you be doing for Tivoli?
MOMweal work wifout a weal wig Waco?WACOI'd be doing Notes programming for them.
MOMWeal work. Weally!WACOI am keeping my head covered at all times. Even in the car.
MOMSoon you will be able to brush your hair into a large curl on top of your head like all the other little babes.
MOM Good for you. Now, if you get a veil, and wear lots of eye makeup, you can be mysterious! And HOT.WACO Part of the beauty of the bald head is the pale, blueish-white background of scalp against dark stubble. I wouldn't want to ruin the affect
WACOI'll tell you what's hot. A WIG is hot. And what REALLY bad is when you've just shaved your head and you're in a wig store and you put on a wig and the sales lady sprays your head with wig conditioner. STING!!!!!!!
MOMYeah! I can't believe you did this.WACO I look constantly surprised, sort of shocked. My eyes look huge.
WACOI'm sure everyone who sees me understands that I can't believe I did this either.
WACO The 23 year old who sits across from me at work really didn't get why I thought it was a big deal. "Why are you wearing a bandana?" he asked, "I don't get it." He's the guy who's part owner of a dance club down on sixth street.
WACO Jennifer said, "You've got to get some other bandanas. You can't just wear the same one every day!"
MOMHow long do you think it will be before you can go sans scarf?WACOI think probably just a few more days before I lose the scarf.
WACOWhen my scalp isn't showing anymore.
MOM Well, you can but a good, holy wig for the cost of a few scarves.
MOMGet one that's red or something.WACOFUN.
MOMOr platinumWACOI could strap a pony-tail to the back of my head (tie it under my chin).
MOMArg.
MOMMy baby.WACO The black people's wig store had really neat wigs. Mom, they were so nice! It reminded me of when I used to go to the beauty shop with Granny or Neta.
WACO Jennifer said that black women wear a lot of wigs, and I think she's right!
MOMTry a white people's wig place. ...
MOM I know I never mentioned it to you, but you are basically caucasian.
MOMA little redskin thrown in...WACO
MOM Although your dad is Black Irish, whatever that is.WACOMe? Caucasian? Is that why my scalp is blue?
MOMOr so he says.
MOM Your scalp is blue because your brain floated away and left a shadow in its place, dear. WACOI think black women are much more church-oriented than white women.
MOM And where is this staement goin? Church wigs, or what?WACOI'm ignoring the brain remark.
WACO Oh - the church thing. Well, I say that because ...
MOMYes
MOM?
MOMyes?WACO When I was at the wig store, the ladies often said things like, "well, that's all in the Lord's hands" or, well, stuff like that a lot when they were talking to each other. They talked about God as if he were a very present parent that was someplace in the back of the store, managing the accounts. Like, when they weren't certain about something, the guy in the back would figure it out.
WACOAnd they mixed it with stuff like, "So, who you sleep with? Just kidden'!"
WACOThey lady who helped me called me 'sister'. That was so neat.
MOM Well, I hope they are right. Somebody needs to be thinking things out.....she called YOU sister? Neato.WACOYep!
WACO When I walked in the store she said, "Can I help you?" and I said, "Yes mam, I'd like to look at a wig." And she said, "Well, imagine that. A wig. I can't believe you'd walk in this door lookin' for a wig!"
MOM Did you talk your regular talk, then? :)WACO Yes, I talked my regular middle-class white girl talk. I don't know any other kind of talk.
MOM She probably was thinking, "I can't believe you'd walk in this door, period! "WACOI don't know. But all the ladies who were there trying on wigs were very sweet and very helpful.
WACOMost of them were elderly women.
MOMThen she saw what was supposed to be your shiny white pate and noted that it was blue instead.WACO She asked me if I wanted to try it on in the bathroom. I just about died when she said, "Here, try this on," and held it out to me like it was a hat or something.
WACO It's growing darker every minute, though. I guess it probably grows sort of like a beard.
MOM Probably. And you have very thick hair. Remember that the flattops are popular now, and those stick in every direction dos too.WACO
MOMIt won't be too bad.
MOMI hope.WACO You know, I could have learned a lot of life lessons a lot sooner if every time I insisted on continuing to do something stupid I woke up the next morning with a bald head!
WACOThinking about dropping out of high school or college? Here ya go... Rather not pay your bills? ZAP.
MOM Well, honey, you'd probably get used to that,too.WACOI don't think so.

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Stories

I roll my eyes.

His elbow is bent and his forearm is aloft, his wrist at eye-level, and his hand makes a fist except for his index and middle fingers, which dangle in front of his face like fangs.

“SSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Sss. Ss.”

I laugh despite myself.

“So then I took another step, and … SSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssss sssss sss.” He holds up more fangs with his other hand. “They had us surrounded. So I looked at Dad, and I’m like, ‘Dude’…”

Dad puts his forehead in his hands and shakes with laughter. His face turns dark red. I can see his teeth for, perhaps, the fifth time in my life and realize I got my dental work from my father.

“Goddamn, son, don’t move!”

At this point, tears are rolling down my face.

Surrounded By Snakes At The Creek Place continues. Ends. Not to be outdone, I launch in to Wetting My Pants While I Was Riding Behind You On Your Motorcycle. I think I’ve won, but he counters with Sitting Behind You In The Oldsmobile When You Wet Your Pants In The Front Seat. We catch our breath for a few minutes while Mom dances down the hall to the bathroom, but our wheels are spinning.

“Remember When We Left John Larry Behind At The Gas Station?” I ask, innocently. I see immediately that I have won. We all picture John Larry running desperately next to the car, which Mom contends was actually going 20 miles per hour, I looked at the speedometer, it really was, while banging on the window with the palm of his hand. This memory is so completely comical that those of us who were actually in the car can no longer speak for lack of the air being used up by laughing, while the person who was running next to it is left with nothing more than no really I saw the speedometer too I really was running that fast. But then, at the last possible moment, just when we’re all about to go to separate rooms or make possessive, grabbing motions for the TV remote control, John launches in to Spending The Night With Dad And His Snoring In The Motel Room, which is followed by a volley of Spending The Night In The Bathtub To Escape Mom’s Snoring. But that was nothing compared to The First Night At Deer Camp With Dad And His Snoring, he tells us.

I search my memories for something to top this onslaught, but find nothing more than The Christmas When Dad Got Stitches And Mom Fell Asleep On Her Christmas Present Because Of Pain Medication. But it’s really too soon for that story, and I get nothing more than a polite giggle in response. Defeated, I retreat and leave the TV to John Larry. We will meet again, my friend, we will meet again and when we do watch out because I will be taking notes, and I will remember.

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Big Hearted

My brother was born big-hearted.  I don’t mean to say he was particularly magnanimous, or that he walked around with his arms open to the world.  I mean to say that he was open to all the big emotions.  Excitement.  Love.  Anger.  Rage.  Sadness.  Exhilaration.  A typical day in his life might begin with me waking him up.  Grumpy and annoyed, he would stumble in to the den and plop down in front of the TV, thumb in his mouth, index finger twirling in his hair, to wake up.  I must have awakened him this way so often because I was an early riser, myself, and because I craved his company.  Most often we fought over television shows and cereal, toys and territories.  Still, I started every day believing that we would settle in with each other in comfortable agreement and pastime.  Cloudy days, days soft with rain and dim with dark clouds, were easier than others.  Those days, we passed the quiet time together in harmony.

I mostly remember his playing with his race cars, or with his friends.  I picture a little boy in striped, bell-bottomed pants and a t-shirt, sitting on the floor, making vroom-vroom noises and crashing sounds as he raced his matchbox cars through the air.  I picture the same little boy in the same outfit, plus a blue windbreaker, flying down the sidewalk, legs pumping madly, straddling (just barely) the banana seat of his first bicycle.  I remember walking down the street with him past the Goodyards house.  Going to a neighbor girl’s birthday party with him, with his hair slicked down with water, in his red dress shirt and black tie, when he was 6 years old.  And then there was his first football uniform, red jersey with white lettering and helmet.  I picture him running as fast as he could but never seeming to gain as much distance as I expected him to.  And then his next football uniform, this one gold.  I picture him at 12, his long hair burnished with gold and swirling around his head when he ran.  And then 13, racing his first BMX.  And 14, winning another race, in his young man’s body, broad shouldered, lean, growing tall, left hand on his hip, right foot in front of him, green eyes narrowed as he surveyed everyone around him over his cup of ice.  And 16, a shit-kicker, partying with the cowboys and working every macho job he could find.  And 17, howling in fury, fists flying as he attempted to fight my father through our living room and out the front door.  And 18, too thin, with horrified eyes, his face filled with a rage that seemed to overtake every other expression of his personality for the next few years.  And 22, muscles pumped up on steroids, hair in a perm, trying in a desperately sweet way to talk his girlfriend into marrying him instead of having an abortion.  And 25, standing in the shambles of the first place he ever lived with a girl, the girl accusing him of hitting her, and him sobbing and swearing he didn’t.  And 27, wild, unbrushed hair ranging over his shoulders and down his back, furiously intense and threatening, burning up all our mother’s spoons on speed.  And I remember the utterly exhausted man who arrived back in our parents home at 31 following his first hospitalization and diagnosis of bipolar disorder.  And 32, defeated in a way that left me speechless, still at home, working on his college degree, afraid to live by himself.  And 33, trying horrifically hard to fit hopes in to the same cramped space with his fears and defeats.  And 35, smiling bravely at each question about his future and his love life and his health.  And 37, vomiting in the bathroom, bloated from medications for everything from bipolar disorder to asthma to an intestinal blockage to high blood pressure to high cholesterol to two slipped discs in his back.  And that is my last memory of seeing him.  I would say he was always anything, but he wasn’t, really.  He was quite changeable.  Maybe most children are.

I regret all the watching of my brother I did. I wish I’d paid attention to him, instead.

I can’t seem to write about our childhood, or my childhood, without falling back on gross generalizations and guilt.  The big hearted emotions that so defined both of our lives.

Maybe its just that our differences, and our reactions to our differences, were naturally going to cause a lot of guilt, and an ultimate inability to ever really come together, like two magnets facing each other with the same polarity.  But I will tell you that I longed for him until I was 18, and that I hated him after that.  And I think it was the opposite for him:  hate, and then longing.  With him gone, the longing is back with me and this one always I know will always be:  I will always long for him.

And I think that’s really the most important thing.  It isn’t what I suppose he thought or felt about me, and it isn’t all the mistakes I made, or the things about me that might have pushed him away from me (and probably did).  The guilt probably isn’t important.  What’s important is that I loved him, and I was, and remain, convinced that he loved me.  Probably.  Hopefully.  Honestly, I’m not sure.  I’m afraid the most he ever felt was guilty but I so much wanted him to love me.  I long for him to have.  I long to have another chance to earn that from him.

If only I knew more about what was going on in his head in between those memories I have of him.  If only I remembered his own personal timeline, or conversations we had, or things we did together, or people we both knew, experiences we shared beyond those few that I hold in my head.  If I did, I could write about him.  I could tell his story to the world.  I could better understand the big picture, and my own part in our relationship, with more calm than I can muster now.

Oh how I wish I could express it:  those memories, real and true, and not just the emotions I surround everything with.

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