AfflictionAteHer

I ran through the contents of this blog the other day. I started it back in October (not so long ago, really) with a few posts from the previous year. I thought I wanted it to be a blog about mental illness… but that’s not how it worked out, it seems. For now, at least, this blog is really more about simply trying to feel better in every possible way. And for now, at least, that means trying to sort out what is causing what in my body (if baseline should be a body that functions well and feels fine).

I’ve stopped taking Lamictal, Seroquel, Neurontin, and Symbicort. I’ve cut my Protonix dose in half. I’ve added Trazedone and 12-Hour Claritin D. If you saw my post about side-effects, then you know the list of problems I’ve been dealing with on a daily basis is quite long, and if you’ve been reading lately at all you know that I also had some relatively major oral surgery a couple of weeks ago.

Here’s an update on how things are going, so far.

Sleep {Seroquel}

I have a history of running in to intolerable withdrawal symptoms when I try to wean myself off of Seroquel. But off of it I am, and I seem to have managed to get through it just fine, this time.

Seroquel is the most effective sleeping pill (not it’s intended purpose, but a side effect, actually) I’ve ever taken, and believe me when I say I’ve tried them all. On the other hand, it never made sense to me to take a sleeping pill every night for the rest of my life. Sleeping pills are usually short-term solutions. Instead, it’s been a daily solution of mine for close to ten years. Add to that the risks associated with this drug — weight gain, high cholesterol, diabetes — and you have some very good reasons to stop taking it. The final kicker for me, though, was that I began to experience what my doctor and myself thought might be extrapyramidial symptoms (i.e., I couldn’t swallow at night).

To my enormous surprise, I was able to successfully make the switch from Seroquel to Trazedone in one fell swoop. Two things made the difference, I think: 1) my allergies bother me a lot at this time of year, so I started taking 12-Hour Claritin D at about the same time that I stopped taking Seroquel (which made the all-over itching tolerable); and 2) my oral surgery gave me something else to think about.

I think I’m sleeping about as well on Trazedone as I did on Seroquel, though maybe not quite as deeply. I gradually stopped having any trouble swallowing, though it’s impossible to say if Seroquel was the specific cause of that problem.

Although I’ve taken Seroquel for about 10 years, I took other things for years before that, starting back in 1996. My hope is that some time in the next year I can learn to sleep without a sleeping pill, again. It’s going to take quite some time to get there, I fear.

Mood {Lamictal, Neurontin}

Here’s something worth noting: my mood does not appear to have been affected by these changes in any negative way at all. In fact, the paranoia has disappeared, and my mood overall just seems much more even that it had been. Trazedone is also an antidepressant, so I guess that could be helping things, but I don’t know.

You’d think that someone who’s bipolar would at least have some kind of major mood swing when confronted with all of these sudden chemical changes and physical stressors, but it simply hasn’t happened.

Lungs/Asthma {Symbicort}

All of the congestion in my lungs – and I do mean all of it – stopped as soon as I stopped taking Symbicort. That’s one drug I didn’t stop all at once, I tapered off of it, and the congestion tapered away with it. The constantly having to clear my throat, the coughing something up every few minutes of the day, are gone. In addition, I simply don’t feel nearly as out of breath, and my heart doesn’t threaten to explode when I climb the stairs at work.

On the other hand, I do have a dry, allergy-like cough.

Now, here’s something weird: I tend to keep my albuterol inhaler with me at all times, and I typically use it either before or after every smoke break at work. My bronchial tubes protest when I smoke, this time of year, and the albuterol calms them down. Last week I got to work only to realize that I’d forgotten to bring my inhaler with me. It was a panicky feeling, let me tell you – I was convinced that as soon as I smoked I was going to start wheezing in a particularly uncomfortable and embarrassing way… but it never happened. I smoked less that day, and I never had an asthma attack, and I was just fine. I was just fine until I got home, that is. And then the bronchial spasms started back up.

We have 3 cats and a dog and we’re all slobs. Pet hair floats freely through the atmosphere, along with dust and dander, and I happen to be allergic to all three of these things. Yes, I’m allergic and I know it and I don’t do anything about it.

Long story short: my allergies and my housekeeping are both bad. And I need to stop using drugs as a crutch to avoid those realities.

Not that I’ll stop using my albuterol. Asthma is serious business. But still…. I’ve obviously been using my inhaler even when I don’t really need to. And if we were to clean this house up, and wash and groom our pets, and keep at it, I could probably use it even less. Meaning that I would feel better and lower the risk of side effects adding to my misery.

Indigestion (aka GERD) {Protonix}

A quick update about this. Unfortunately, this is not a symptom that has improved with a decrease in my daily dosage of Protonix.

My prescription for this medication calls for me to take twice the highest recommended dosage every day. I tried to cut it back to, simply, the highest recommended dosage. I’m back to getting indigestion every night. I haven’t woken up choking on it, yet (FYI: this is why I take it – I’ve had several frightening nights when I’ve woken up after having inhaled a bunch of acid from my stomach).

Two thoughts about this: 1) The original instructions I had for this medication called for me to take it first thing in the morning 30 minutes before I consume anything else, including coffee. I’ve never taken it that way, so that’s something to try. 2) Maybe I need to go back to my doctor or see another doctor about this problem.

A related problem has been nausea. It may be a withdrawal symptom, but I have been experiencing sudden and intense waves of nausea. These have been easily remedied by eating something as soon as the nausea hits. I have mild nausea when I don’t eat enough, anyway, but this has been something else. Thank goodness there’s a fast and easy way to control it.

Diet

My intense craving for sweets seems to have dissipated. In fact, a bigger problem I’m facing is a simple lack of appetite. I do still get hungry, occasionally, but only after going for close to 24 hours without eating. I’m having to force myself to eat during the day because the motivation (hunger) to eat simply isn’t popping up in a normal way. I have no desire to cook anything specific because I don’t feel hungry for anything specific. When I do eat, I don’t eat much.

How much of this anorexia is being caused by my change in medications, and how much is being caused by recovery from oral surgery (eating is also much more difficult than it was a few weeks ago) is impossible to tell.

My diet is definitely causing me some problems. I’m running out of energy, and when I’m low on energy I’m even less likely to eat.

I think of this as an opportunity to change my diet for the better. If I don’t care what I eat then it doesn’t matter if I choose, say, a healthy meal rather than junk food. This is a work in progress for me.

(By the way, I think it’s worth noting, here, that after my oral surgery the morning of the 16th, I didn’t eat again until the night of the 19th and that was just some mashed potatoes and green beans).

I’ve only lost 5 pounds, which means I’m not getting anything out of this problem with my appetite. Probably because I’m continuing to make poor choices about what I eat – a milkshake in lieu of lunch, a Snak-Pak pudding in lieu of breakfast, a sausage-croissant sandwich from Jack In The Box in lieu of dinner.

That’s it for today, just wanted to check in. I’m curious as to where this will all lead. But hopeful, too. Coming soon: research the side-effects of 12-Hour Claritin D and Trazedone, and update my side-effects table.

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